Fiasco Numero Uno

On television and in movies, single women seem to pick up men everywhere they go.  It's that simple: you go out in public, you pick up a hot date for that evening. The first hump, aside from having absolutely no resemblance to any hot celebrities, I had to get over was looking single.  I had to send out that vibe to potential picker-uppers.  Well, FAIL.  I have two children.  So I needed a back-up plan, and that plan was to make eye contact and smile. I am embarrassed to admit that I was not able to initiate such common human interaction. With a man. What was I, 12?  So the first time a guy made a move, in line at the grocery store with his two kids, I was wildly surprised.  We exchanged phone numbers; we talked and texted. I felt like such a grown up.

So then came the first time we met up, just the two of us.  We decided on a cup of coffee near where I work. Starbucks allows for privacy while not allowing him to attempt to kill me (a girl can't be too safe these days).  Apparently, in the flurry of excitement over being hit on while I shopping, I failed to notice a pretty significant detail about said fellow: he was short.  As in, several inches shorter than my 5'9" frame. 

I must digress here and note that I am not shallow.  Looks are not the most important thing in the world to me, although I do appreciate a man of mild attractiveness.  But I simply cannot envision myself walking down the aisle with a man shorter than myself.  It just isn't happening, my friends.

And so I find myself face to face (well, face to chest) with a man whose head I can cleanly look over. But what am I going to do, say no thanks and leave him at Starbucks?  Heavens no!  I am a nicer person than that, and you never know when you can find a new friend. So we sit down to chat and wait for our coffee. To make a boring story less boring, I'll cut to the chase.  Said Short Man was pretty much everything I did not want in a man, so I actually felt better about him being short, as I could  now justifiy not wanting to see him again.  Thanks for the coffee.  Yes, it was nice meeting you.  Oh, no, I don't think coming over to your place to "get to know you better" (said with a disgusting wink) is going to happen tonight. Or ever. 

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